


Tell me what you want and you can have it

by Allez_Argeiphontes



Category: The Expanse (TV), The Expanse Series - James S. A. Corey
Genre: M/M, Porn with Feelings, The Expanse Baltimore AU, also, demisexual amos burton, prax is trans but it's irrelevant, the most detailed smut i've written and it's not even that detailed, well sort of on the ace demi spectrum somewhere, yeah this is going to need some notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:14:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24057298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allez_Argeiphontes/pseuds/Allez_Argeiphontes
Summary: In which Prax gets carried away, Amos has consent issues and they get there in the end.
Relationships: Amos Burton/Praxidike Meng
Comments: 5
Kudos: 48





	Tell me what you want and you can have it

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Silver_89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_89/gifts).



> This is set in from @silver_89 and my Expanse Baltimore AU, where Amos stays in Baltimore and tries to make stuff better. Except that it's not really relevant to this fic because it's entirely smut with some good angst-comfort-happy ending. The relevant stuff boils down to: this Amos is on the ace-demi spectrum and still figuring shit out. Everyone is a bit younger than in canon. This Amos has not had as much distance from his past. He and Prax have been together a while and this is part of them figuring stuff out in bed. There's no dubcon or proper reference to it, but Amos has the same traumatic background as in canon, so bear that in mind. Also, Prax is trans and it isn't even relevant.

“Fuck, fuck yes, ahhhh...” Prax grins into the tender skin of Amos’s neck, lets himself feel smug that Amos can’t keep quiet in bed. Not that he ever has, it’s just that he normally doesn’t produce actual words. Prax has been slowly learning how to make him feel good for months now and this feels like some sort of triumph. He bites his lip before returning to his task, kisses down Amos’s chest and tries not to rut against the sheets. Sucks a bruise under Amos’s collarbone and soothes it with his tongue. He doesn’t get any more words, but it becomes exceedingly hard to care. Amos swears under his breath, lets out all these wrecked little moans that sink into the soft centres of Prax's brain, make him want to keep going and going and going. Joy drips slow and sweet through Prax at the certainty that he’s making Amos feel good, good enough that Amos can’t keep it in and Prax thinks _yes_ , that is definitely a triumph. 

Amos feels as good as he sounds, warm and responsive under Prax’s hands, his mouth. Prax risks a glance up as he strokes reverently over Amos's stomach, feels muscles jump under skin that has no right being that soft. He can't help but thrill at the way Amos's head is thrown back, throat bared and the sweet curve of his lip just visible. He's so beautiful in this moment, so free and perfect Prax doesn't know how to feel about it. It's confusing and _too much_ , all Prax knows is that he's getting to touch Amos, getting to make him feel so good he forgets himself and it's so very wonderful. He presses his fingers into the skin above Amos' boxer briefs just to hear him gasp. Lays biting kisses against Amos's side, feels his hips jerk and smiles against his skin, moves down. Amos has one leg bent up and his inner thigh keeps brushing Prax's ear in the most ridiculous distracting way. Prax is caught up in the heat of being able to make Amos feel good, he forgets what he’s doing, strays too low and the sound Amos makes when Prax kisses his dick through his underwear makes Prax pull back like he's been burned.

"Shit, sorry, I didn't mean..." Prax pulls back and up, frozen between horror at overstepping and the way Amos's hips press against his stomach. Amos's eyes are shut tight, hands splayed against the sheets like he’s trying to keep still even though the rest of his body still seems to be reaching for Prax.

"Amos, Amos I'm so sorry, please look at me" Prax feels a chill down his spine, but he's still caught in the heat of having Amos's dick against his mouth, how fucking perfect everything had felt even as he regrets it with everything he's got. Amos doesn't say anything, doesn't open his eyes and okay, _okay_ Prax needs to fix this because Amos is probably freaking out and, _fuck_. He wants so badly to touch Amos, to hold him tight. Except that's probably not a great idea right now. Prax makes himself lift up off of Amos and give him some space, makes to sit back on his heels. Except he feels a hand on his wrist, looks down in confusion as Amos holds him in place.

"Don't". Amos's eyes are still shut but no longer screwed tight, his voice is shaking but not as panicked Prax expected. "Don't go".

Prax's heart is in his throat as he settles carefully back over Amos, leans down on his elbows and reminds himself that the fact Amos is still hard doesn't mean a thing.

"I'm here".

When Amos looks up his eyes are wide and more naked than ever. Prax gives in - _can't not touch him_. He fits his hand against Amos's cheek softly, warms at the way Amos turns to kiss his palm. Amos keeps his face turned like that, eyes lowered like he can hide against Prax's skin. 

"You don't have to stop".

And Prax stays exactly where he is, because okay _yes_ , that's better than he was expecting. Better because hopefully - _he really fucking hopes_ \- it means he hasn’t just retraumatised Amos by crossing one of their carefully uncrossed boundaries. And maybe it means Amos actually liked what he did and isn’t freaking out in the privacy of his own head. But there’s so much more he needs to know. Even though this is maybe what he secretly wanted to hear, what he never expected to hear and made peace with because Amos is already perfect, with or without sex. It's overwhelming and insufficient data and _how_ are Amos's lashes are so perfectly swept against the curve of his cheek. _It’s distracting._

"Amos," Prax swallows, wants to get this right. "Amos I got carried away, I would never... I shouldn't have done that." Amos still doesn’t look at him, eyes down like he can't. Prax dares to stroke his thumb against Amos's cheek.

"You don't have to stop," Amos's voice is steady now, so soft Prax can't take it. "I don't want you to stop".

Prax can feel the heat of Amos's blush on his palm. He looks at the way Amos is trusting him and tries to breathe.

"Are you saying you want me to do that again?"

Amos nods against his fingers. _Fuck_. Prax wants so badly to press himself against Amos, to kiss him and go right back to where he was and make him moan again but he can't help thinking of all the times he's seen Amos hurt. Seen him hurt and pretending not to be because he didn't think he was allowed . Prax knows Amos has difficulty saying no and even though he's _so sure_ Amos wants this there's still that little _what if_. What if Prax fucks up this precious, fragile thing, _what if, what if, what if…_

"Are you sure?"

Amos says nothing and Prax can’t assume with something like this, he needs certainty right now.

"Amos, I need to know you really want this. It's alright, we don't have to do anything. I can kiss you all night if you want, or nothing at all.” 

Prax waits while Amos takes big, shuddering breaths. He's so perfect and Prax aches with wanting to make him feel good, whatever that means. 

“Look at me sweetheart, tell me what you want. Tell me what you want and you can have it."

"Fuck, Doc. You know I'm bad at this." Amos is trying for light-hearted but instead he just sounds wrecked. He lets out a shaky little hum and seems to settle himself.

"I want you to. I want you to do it again.”

Fuck. Prax tries to tell himself this is okay, _he's okay_ , but then Amos decides to finally look up at him.

Amos’s eyes are very wide and very green and who the fuck looks so innocent and lovely when they're in this state. Amos's hands come up to squeeze his shoulders and Prax can feel every place their bodies are pressed together, including some very fucking hard places and it's too much, it's sweet and gorgeous too much. Also Amos needs to stop looking at him like that or he’ll die, so Prax kisses the man just to stop him. It's soft and deep and when Prax pulls away it's only far enough to rest their foreheads together.

"Please keep going," Amos whispers. He rolls his hips a little and then Prax is the one that moans.

"Okay." Prax makes himself breathe. _Humans are supposed to breathe._ "Okay but you have to tell me if it's too much," Amos isn't looking away now and _fuck_ "You can always change your mind."

"I know."

Prax gives himself exactly ten seconds to not freak out. Then he kisses Amos and sure enough, it really is okay. It's okay as Amos kisses him back, it's so more than okay when Amos grips him harder, and Prax just keeps going.

Amos makes all the same little noises and he feels _so fucking good_ except this time there are hands on Prax's shoulders, no longer tentative and when Amos resists pushing him back down to where he was before, Prax kind of wishes he would. In the end he does the exact same as before because _why the hell not_. Strokes over Amos's hips, down over the soft skin of his belly and kisses him through his boxers.

Amos makes the same perfect moan except he sounds even more ragged and Prax stops right where he is, lips inches from the hard line of Amos's cock, just right there and he's dizzy with it, that Amos wants this.

"Still sure you want this?" Prax keeps his eyes on Amos's underwear, hands flat over his hip bones. It's gratifying when Amos's breath hitches, when his words come out a little broken.

"I’m still sure".

Prax dares himself to stroke Amos through his underwear, listens to the sound it gets and okay, _okay, fuck that's a lot_. He presses back in, kisses at the soft fabric and that's even better, to feel Amos all around him, the way his dick jerks and his thighs squeeze Prax's shoulders and maybe he never wants to be anywhere else.

"Can I take these off?" dares to look up at Amos, finds that he's been watching Prax this whole time. Amos bites his lip, nods.

There’s some rearranging to get Amos naked and back where they were and Prax just, he needs to see Amos's face. Because he's nervous as hell and it's more important than seeing his boyfriend's dick even though he _really_ fucking wants that too.

So he keeps looking up at Amos. Keeps looking up even as he reaches down and wraps his hand around Amos's cock, as he marvels at how good it feels in his hand. Amos makes a low sound from the back of his throat and when Prax strokes him, his mouth falls into a little O of pleasure that’s too lovely for words.

Prax wants to keep watching Amos but he wants Amos's skin under his mouth more, kisses Amos's hip. Looks down to see Amos's cock exactly like he imagined, thick and dark and gorgeous where it curves against his hand. Strokes him again just to see it. Amos's hands are on his shoulders, still making those wrecked little sounds and Prax _wants_ , he wants so much to make it good.

So he takes his chance, kisses Amos's shaft between his fingers just because he can. The choked off little moan he hears is so fucking worth it.

"Can I? Do you want that?" Prax looks up at Amos more tenderly than the situation would suggest.

Prax can feel his own heart racing, beating out of his skin with how much he wants this, wants anything Amos wants in this moment, with how hard he is and how is this the best thing he's ever done and he hasn't even done it yet.

"Yeah," Amos's voice is small but he doesn't look away, "Yeah I want that." Exhales shaky like he can't believe he said that.

Prax nods, and then Amos is too far away and he _needs to kiss him_. Just once because _fuck_ , he needs to and Amos must too from the way he cups the back of Prax's head, sucks at his lip. Prax presses one more kiss to Amos’s mouth before he sinks back down. And _yeah ok_ , this is easy, this is good. He licks experimentally and grins at the moan he gets, mouths at the beading head of Amos's cock and reminds himself to go slow when a hand comes to rest big and gentle on the back of his neck. Not holding him there, just resting like Amos needs to keep connected. It's been a long time since Prax did this but he finds it's easy to get it right, easy to trust that he knows what feels good as he lets Amos slide full and heavy over his tongue.

And yes, it's been a while but Prax remembers what this feels like and blowing someone never felt this good. Not with the way Amos fits so perfect in his mouth, the sweet clench of his fingers when Prax bobs his head, tries to take him further and pulls back, the way he jerks when Prax hums around him, hits the back of Prax’s throat and _fuck_ it never felt so good to press just that little bit further because he can. Amos tastes and feels and _sounds_ better than he's ever had and when Amos tries to warn him "oh fuck, oh fuck, oh..." _nothing_ has felt so good and right over his tongue. Prax swallows again just to get another moan. Stays until he needs to pull off and rest against Amos's hip, wrecked and panting like he's the one who just came.

He waits there because _fuck_ , and then Amos is pulling his shoulder, so Prax goes where he's pulled, lets Amos hug him too tight and so good all at once.

Prax is still breathing hard and it's really difficult not to press down into Amos's thigh for just a tiny bit of relief, because he's not sure he's ever been this turned on as he is with his cheek against Amos's scarred shoulder and the taste of him _right fucking there_. But he still needs to check in. Because sure the way Amos is holding him doesn't _feel_ like a person who’s freaking out, but Prax needs to be sure.

"Y’know, you think really loudly." 

Prax can't help but grin because _fuck, he loves this man_. Prax looks up at Amos, smiles as if he could do anything else.

"So I’ve been told."

Now Amos is the one to smile, wide and easy and yes, _okay_ , he is definitely not freaking out. Which is good. It’s very, very good. Amos grins and kisses his cheek.

"Be quiet." A kiss to his throat now. Prax nods dumbly and attempts to obey as Amos pulls him closer, bites gently into his neck and slides his hand into Prax's shorts. He is predictably bad at being quiet, makes something like a yelp when Amos touches him.

"You, you don't have to.”

He’s saying it even as he bites his lip at Amos's fingers slipping into him, even as it feels _so good_ , even as he aches for release. Amos withdraws his fingers, cups him loosely and Prax shivers at the soft touch.

"Tell me what you want and you can have it."

And it takes Prax's breath away to hear Amos say that back to him, low and unsure. Prax looks up, watches Amos stay very, very still. Time seems to stretch and he feels overfull, like a cup that might spill at any moment. Prax manages not to look away.

"Don’t stop."

Amos's face is soft, full of all the things Prax can't say as he leans back in, brings their mouths together and turns the kiss as dirty as it is tender. Prax doesn't try to be quiet as Amos touches him, doesn't try to last because he feels so good and lit up he couldn't stop even if he wanted to. Amos keeps kissing him and holding him and stroking him and when Amos says "Come for me" low in his ear, Prax does that too.

**Author's Note:**

> yup. Come yell at me on [tumblr](allez-argeiphontes.tumblr.com)


End file.
